Staying Present When Triggered
When your brain shuts down, usually due to a stressful conversation or event, it is trying to protect you by kicking in the steps toward fight/flight/freeze. This is common and not "weird." You are likely experiencing a trauma response based on something that happened in the past.
Here is an example I frequently use. When I was little, I was in a car driving on the wrong side of the highway and I was terrified. As an adult, it can be difficult for me to be in a car with a driver that doesn’t drive like I do. Even though the initial event happened when I was a child, my body remembers and protects me by putting me into a fight/flight/freeze state. Over time and with practice, I have been able to notice the way my brain shuts down and can therefore catch it (most of the time) so I can be present.
Our brain shuts down in segments:
Frontal cortex: This part of the brain is what helps us to plan, make decisions, and think rationally. If there is a threat, the cortex goes offline, making it difficult to have words, think clearly, or say or do what you need. Basically, these functions freeze.
Emotions: At this stage, we will not be able to express or identify our feelings or emotions.
Movement: Our body becomes clunky and it can be difficult to move.
Fight/flight/freeze: This response kicks in.
Here are some steps for slowing that process down and staying present based on how our brain is affecting us.
Step 1: Recognize that you are experiencing an overload of anxiety or fear. You may feel this anywhere in your body. Practice noticing this sensation, what it feels like, and link it to a previous traumatic or stressful event if you can. Create a sentence you can say to yourself such as, "My brain is shutting down because of my past and I'm going to be okay."
Step 2: Say out loud, "I need a minute to regulate." Then focus on breathing, taking three slow breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth as though you were blowing through a straw. This can help your brain to be present in this moment and clear out some of the fear.
Step 3: Tap something with a regular pattern. This can be clapping, putting pressure on your fingertips, marching in place, walking around the house/block/office. This helps you to stay a bit more present in the moment and not drop into the fight/flight/freeze state. You can crawl back up the chain, recognize your feelings, and get the ability to think more clearly again.
Step 4: Catch your narratives. If you are thinking "I can't do this" or similar, change that thought to "I don't feel like I can do this and I'm going to do my best or and I'm going to be okay." This sentence has to be something you actually believeor your brain will escalate the problem.
