Major Life Transitions: Identifying Needs & Self Care

Major life transitions come with their own worries and stresses on top of what you may already be experiencing on your mental health journey. Sometimes they come at a time when you least expect them, while other times you see them coming and can plan accordingly. In both situations, the best path forward is to identify what you need to make it through the transition, as well as being diligent about implementing self care so as not to feel overwhelmed by the changes that will impact the current course of your life. First, however, you might be surprised by what qualifies as a life transition.

Life Changes and Upheavals

Life changes and upheavals happen to everyone. We grow up, we move out, we get older, we experience the death of a loved one, all of which are examples of significant life changes. More examples might include a graduation (or even the end of the school year), a cross-country move, a job change, getting married or moving in with your significant other, or adding a child to the family. A major health diagnosis is definitely a life upheaval, as can be retirement or taking on a caregiving role to an elderly friend or family member. Leaving a community you were once a thriving member of (such as a religious group, cultural group, or a certain friend group) is also considered a significant life change.

Whatever may be your specific story, the best thing you can do is anticipate or notice your needs, and make the time for your self care.

Taking Good Care of Yourself

One of the best ways to tune in to your needs is to pay closer attention to your body. When you’re overly anxious or stressed, you’re less likely to notice your body’s feedback. By setting a timer or even using an app, you’re more likely to regularly check in on your body when stress levels are higher. Apps such as Headspace, Calm, and Finch can help. 

Take a look at your upcoming schedule or soon-to-happen events and be intentional to pepper self care activities into your plan. Try to do this as much as you can by being intentional about your sleep schedule, getting good nutrition, moving or exercising as much as you can, and spending time with supportive people. Try to keep things simple and get back to the basics!

What are Your Needs to Handle Stress?

Handling stress is different from person to person. What have you needed during particularly stressful times? Do you have any new needs that should be addressed? During a major life transition, it’s often the case you might be overwhelmed by social situations that you usually enjoy. Warn your friends and family in advance that you might need to be less available, but that once you settle in, you’ll “be back soon!” Identify events on your calendar that you can say no to and give yourself some much-needed breathing room.

If, on the other hand, you feel lonely or abandoned during stressful times, now might be a good idea to let your loved ones know you need their support. Schedule coffee dates or lunch dates with trusted friends or close family to soothe your mind and body’s stress response.

Your tasks themselves could easily overwhelm you, so take stock of what you might be able to let go of or outsource to others. Can you hire a house cleaner a few times a month? Do you need ready-made meal kits delivered to your door? Maybe you can take a short hiatus from all your volunteer work or ask someone else to host the weekly book group for the summer.

Self Care When Busy

If you have a hectic schedule, a helpful tip is to link your self care to things you already have to do. For example, after your doctor’s appointment, schedule an extra thirty minutes to take a walk at a local park before you head home. Invite a supportive friend to join you at a doctor’s appointment, or to meet you after an interview. If you feel isolated after a move to a new state, Facetime your best friend while you check out a few local grocery stores. Try to plan ahead as well, to reduce stress that you might feel in the future. For example, map out and drive your new commute to work. Starting a new shift at work? Begin to go to bed earlier to match your new job schedule about a week prior to starting your new position.

In a new life season, it all boils down to what is best for you, your body, and your mental health. Only you know what helps in your time of need, so take the time to identify those needs and give yourself permission to step into some stress-relieving self care. You’ll be so glad you did.