The Suitcase Strategy

Assisting With Healthy Boundaries and Supporting Interpersonal Interactions

When packing a suitcase for a trip, we pack items that have meaning and connection to us. Some things feel more comfortable or safe enough to bring with us on our trip, while other things we leave at home as we don’t feel safe or comfortable bringing them. We can apply this same concept to our interpersonal relationships when we interact with the world in a social setting.

Before we walk out the front door to go to work, a social engagement, an event, or a family gathering, it’s important to take some time to evaluate certain topics or subjects. What topics are we comfortable disclosing in a social setting? 

We then visualize packing our safe and comfortable items into a suitcase while leaving our unsafe topics and subjects out of the suitcase. Anything that does not make us feel safe does not get “packed.” An example of this might be that in a professional setting, one discloses they have a partner, but decides to leave out other specific information, such as their partner’s age or background.

This technique allows us to feel some confidence when interacting with others, and helps to develop new, secure, and positive experiences. It enables us to be more genuine while ensuring that our private things are honored and protected. This strategy helps to decrease stress as well as helping us manage and support our internal processes. The guesswork of “figuring it out” on the spot is gone, thus drastically decreasing our anxiety in social situations.

Depending on the type of social interaction we plan to attend, whether it be hanging out with friends, visiting family, or carrying out our professional lives, we should always take a moment to visually pack our suitcase with things that are appropriate for the situation. Our suitcases might look slightly different when it comes to interacting with colleagues or with family. Evaluating each specific interaction is key, as some topics are safe while others are not in certain circles.

By using the Suitcase Strategy in your own public interactions, you’ll be more prepared with your discussion topics, reduce your own stress, and be more genuine overall.